Jokes Thread

[DragonofHalo Profile]

Ok, I've deemed that the forums have been too quiet for the past few days. Feel free to post every cheesy joke you know, from video game quotes to lines straight out of a joke book. (Don't pull a Mister Shea. Keep this appropriate.)

Starting it off!
Did you know that 3.14 percent of all sailors are pirates?

[Warriorbox Profile]

Whats blue and white and cant climb trees?
*
*
*
*
*
A refrigerator in a denim jacket

[Warriorbox Profile]

Whats Blue and white and CAN climb trees?
*
*
*
*
*
A South American Tree-Climbing fridge in a denim jacket.

[DragonofHalo Profile]

A new person has been added to America's most wanted with this description:
Schrodinger's Cat: Wanted dead and alive.

[Timberwolf1777]

What did the strawberry crammed in a jar say to his fellow strawberry?

*

*

*

*

(add serious attitude when saying the below line)

"If you weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!"

[hamy02 Profile]

What's black, white, and red?

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

A really ugly quilt.

[SWfan85 Profile]

Two guys walk into a bar.....the third ducks.

[ipodparf Profile]

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

[Goobler Profile]

A baby seal walks into a bar, Bartender says, "What can I get you?" The baby seal says...


*
*
*
*

"Anything but a Canadian Club."

[DragonofHalo Profile]

Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.


And in reply to Hamy,
What else is black, white and red?
*
*
*
*
*
A penguin in a blender.

[hamy02 Profile]

Why does a chicken lay eggs?

*

*

*

*

*
If she dropped them, they'd break.

[VanteS]

What did the mad scientist get when he crossed a parrot and a soldier?
*
*
*
*
*
He got a Parrot trooper.

[gregor1942 Profile]

heard both of these on BBC's Mock the Week.

Was my French Teacher into golden showers.


Oui.

I'm a Canadian Comedian but if people think I'm Russian

Soviet

[ODSTLink Profile]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Russell.

[gregor1942 Profile]

what do you call a fish with no eyes?
.
.
.
.
FSH!

[DragonofHalo Profile]

Forums are too quiet again.

I saw an attempted murder in my backyard yesterday.
There were two crows.

[VanDerProtofsky Profile]

A dyslexic walks into a bra...

[cccombo_breaker Profile]

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ididup
Ididup who?
You did a poo? Dude that's just gross.

[VanDerProtofsky Profile]

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ididup
Ididup who?
You did a poo? Dude that's just gross.

Yeesh. That was a stinker.

[thirgil Profile]

How many programmers does it take to fit a light bulb?
.
.
None, it's a hardware problem..